You're orange, you moron!

Expiration dates are such crap. I always feel like I am breaking the law when I eat something after its supposed death date. Sometimes if I'm feeling like an idiot, I go buy more of it that's not expired, consume that, and then go on a date. What makes me say this is that buying things here is hard. Take lunch meat. You can either buy 8 pieces of ham, or you can buy a whole bunch of ham. So I bought a whole bunch since I'm fat and put 8 pieces of ham on one sandwich. It said it expired like, Jan 27, but it was totally fine today. I say that now, and tonight I'm going to end up like that chick in the pilot episode of House, and I'm going to have to scribble "HOSPITAL" on the wall so my flatmates will understand that right now it's not my shyness and antisocial tendencies that aren't allowing me to talk, it's the pork. And then Hugh Laurie will say "haaahm."

Also, I wanted to buy bread today but all of it was like, "best before 3 Feb." That gives me 2 days to eat an entire loaf of bread. I know in my brain that bread's expiration depends on when I open it, and when it actually gets moldy. (Also, eating expired bread isn't that bad for you. I ate some expired White Wheat at the end of the semester with some tuna, and I was fine. I know it was expired because it smelled absolutely foul, but I couldn't figure out if that's just what White Wheat had always smelled like, or if it was bad. So of course I ate it anyway, and then the next time I had White Wheat, I smelled it and realized that when it's good it doesn't smell like anything.) But anyway, for some reason looking at that expiration date made me feel like I could not purchase it. So I bought toilet paper and pasta salad instead. I also bought a Coke, my first one since I've been here I think, and it is delicious. So is this banana I am eating. I have a lot of opinions when it comes to food.

Here's something that's not about food. In order to get to class I have to walk along this narrow lane near my building. There's a steep hill at one point, so you can take these optional steps that are carved into the hill. Sometimes when I am coming back from class, there is an old man running up and down the steps in very short track shorts, consulting with his foreign trainer every now and then. I don't like when this happens because his monstrous pale thighs make me uncomfortable, and also I like to take the steps down the hill because I hate having my feet slide all the way to the front of my shoes.

Today I had my Shakespeare seminar, and it was pretty good. We talked about Titus Andronicus.

I hope everyone has a good time seeing Blackmail. I hope it is great. Speaking of plays that are going to be awesome, can anyone else not wait for Bloody Blackbeard? RIGHT?