Will the hostel have showers?

Hello from Naples!

So. Prague was one of the coolest places I have ever been. We stayed in a really excellent hostel called The Golden Sickle; we got free internet and free breakfast, and we met some really excellent people who were also staying there. I saw a lot of what I wanted to see, but there is so much to do that I definitely need to go back. I didn't end up defenestrating anyone, so that is a disappointment. I had a few Catholics at my disposal and I totally missed my chance. I did go up to the top of the astronomical clock tower and walked around the castle in the snow. I think my favorite day was probably Tuesday. We met some guys in our hostel who were going to Kutná Hora to see the 'bone church' (Sedlec Ossuary), so we decided to tag along. At the train station we met a few people who were attempting to get to the same place, so we ended up hanging out with them for the day. After the church we hung out in a random bar near the train station for awhile, playing music on the free jukebox and drinking pivo (Czech for beer!). That night I had the best Tex-Mex I've had since leaving the US at this place called Buffalo Bill's. A chorizo and rice burrito, and a Pepsi with free refills. 'Twas glorious. Pretty much everything I ate in Prague was delicious. Especially the beef ghoulash with dumplings. And all the sausage. The beer was good, too.

Oh, also. I tried absinthe while I was in Prague. It tastes like crap when you drink it straight, and I was, not surprisingly, take-off-my-pants drunk that night. But it was fun.

I was sad to leave Prague and my friends (and to miss out on Vienna and Budapest). In the Prague airport they were selling US Weekly for 200 crowns. That's around 13 dollars with the current exchange rate. I ultimately decided against purchasing, and just stood around for awhile reading about how stars are really just like us. I'm excited to be in Naples and to hang out with Greg. Greg had his conference today, so I was on my own. It was really gross and rainy, so I really only left the hotel to try and buy a watch (mine died in Prague) and to go get lunch. I also wandered around a little bit, but by 2 I felt very soggy so I've been in the hotel since. I watched The Simpsons and The O.C. in Italian for awhile, and then I fell asleep. Tomorrow I think we are going to hit up some museums and castles, and probably eat more pizza. It should be good times.

After Naples I'm heading to Munich to meet back up with my friend Tyler, and then I think we are heading to Amsterdam. I want to end up back in Bristol at least a few days before classes start up again, but we'll see how it goes.

Later, dudes.

Where are the french fries I did not ask for? You guys need to anticipate me!

Guys, I hate dorms. I was going to do my laundry tomorrow, but stupid Easter holidays have crushed my dreams. Jesus could not have picked a more inconvenient weekend to be crucified and then subsequently resurrected. Tomorrow I am going to go to a public laundromat in the daytime. That's a first for me. I like to do my laundry at night, mostly because that is usually when I realize that I ran out of clean clothes that morning. Actually, I really just like to do my laundry at home because it feels free and sometimes my mom does it for me.

I am super nervous about my trip. I am the worst traveler ever I think. I should employ someone to come with me so at regular intervals they can slap me across the face and scream "GET A GRIP, BARLOW." It would also be great if they could carry my bags and they knew a lot of foreign languages.

But just because I am nervous does not mean that I am not really, really excited. I am going to be in the Czech Republic on Saturday. It has yet to sink in. I've been looking forward to this since January of 2003. It's Jan's country! Maybe I will see him again, and I will say, "Remember when you were my waiter on the cruise I took when I was 15? Remember how sweaty and attractive you were? Let's get married!" And he will say, "Yes, let's. But first, would you like a Coke? The machine is not broken anymore." A girl can dream.

Look out for postcards.

Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race For The Cure.

I actually had a surprisingly (and suspiciously) lucky St. Patrick's Day.

As I got ready to head out for the night, I put on some jeans and found a fiver in one of the pockets. Good. Then at the cider bar we went to there was actually enough room for all 15 or so of us to sit together on the heated patio. Unanticipated. And then while I was walking back home I found a tenner on the ground. Excellent.

Of course, being a generally pessimistic and somewhat superstitious person, I am now wondering what kind of shitstorm I am going to have to endure for finding that tenner.

Exactly three months from today I will be back in the States. Soon I am going to let the folks in Maryland know that I will be expecting a crab feast complete with sweet tea and corn on the cob as soon as I arrive.

I don't believe in one-way streets. Not between people, and not while I'm driving.

I'm back from my weekend in Glasgow. Here's the rundown.

So to get to Glasgow I flew EasyJet, and I just figured out what it reminds me of. It was like the UK equivalent of Southwest. No food, herded like cattle, pick your own seats, good times for everyone. The flights were fine, though. I did some Sudokus and read the EasyJet magazine.

Glasgow itself was a pretty cool place. We went to the Kelvingrove Museum & Art Gallery, where I learned that the duck-billed platypus is venomous. Who knew? We rode the Glasgow subway, which is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen. It runs in a circle; you either ride the inner loop or the outer loop. The trains are like, three cars long. It feels like riding the tram in Disney World or something. On Sunday we walked around the Glasgow Necropolis and saw Glasgow Cathedral, also known as St. Mungo's Cathedral. I think we all know why this pleases me. I would be interested to go to Church of Scotland services; I wonder what Presbyterianism is like over here.

Other than that stuff, though, we mainly just walked around. We saw some excellent gardens, where we played Poohsticks, and we saw the University of Strathclyde, which is where Ashley goes to school. We baked a chocolate cake, ate some pretty good pub food, made sweet tea (oh so very good), and watched Transformers. It was a nice weekend. I could find nowhere to buy postcards, however, so apologies to those people to whom I was going to send them. Even though you had and still have no idea who you are.

We also saw Horton Hears a Who! on Saturday night. Every time I want to go see a movie here, there is never anything out. Horton wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great. I think A.O. Scott sums it up quite nicely: "What distinguishes 'Horton Hears a Who!' from the other recent Dr. Seuss film adaptations — 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' and 'The Cat in the Hat,' in case you need reminding — is that it is not one of the worst movies ever made."

Next weekend I am off to Prague for a few days and then I head to Naples to see Greg. This week I am going to be packing, reading, and eating all the food that's still left in my fridge.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, friends! Also, happy birthday to Liddy!

I'm not on crack; I'm straight up mentally ill!

So. My lame weekend is over and it is time to get back on the crooked and meandering path that I was on before. Drinking! Eating! Possibly reading things! Probably going to my lectures! Sometimes I feel as if this is what I was supposed to experience freshman year of college, but I was too busy obsessively checking the Union movie schedule and eating at Lenoir. It's arrested development. Better late than never, right? Although I have always held that I sowed my wild oats in middle school. There's nothing like drinking Diet Coke with Lime and Jack, smoking a cigarette, and then going to see a matinée showing of Monster's Inc. Am I right?

This week for my Contemporary Writing class we had to read Nights at the Circus by Angela Carter. I gave it 3 stars on Goodreads because I cannot decide how I feel about it. Parts of it were excellent, parts of it were boring, and parts of it were just revolting. Maybe our discussion tomorrow will help me decide. For my Shakespeare class I have to read Twelfth Night for the third time. Or I could just watch She's The Man. Just not the last scene. You know what I'm talking about.

I feel like all I ever want to write about is food. But I don't cook, so I can't have one of those food blogs where people take pictures of the delicious things they make and then I get really hungry and jealous. Because if I had a food blog it'd be like, Here's a picture of the 45p Sainsbury's Basics pizza I cooked. See how the cheese is all black and molten? That was achieved by forgetting about it until two minutes after it should have come out of the oven. I consumed it in 10 minutes with some milk I poured into an empty water bottle so I wouldn't have to clean a glass. It also goes great with tap water or Coke, depending on how fat you want to feel.

I have to say, care packages are great things. But they are anomalous, especially when it comes to Candy Holdings. My Candy Holdings are usually very low. Sometimes in order to get a 50p coin (since that is the only coin the dryers in my building take) I have to buy a Kit Kat or something. But that's usually it. And at home they are probably even lower, depending on when the last time I went to the movies was. But ever since Logan sent me a care package containing candy, my Candy Holdings have been too high to bear. I can't look at the candy without thinking, Well, it might as well be in my belly. It's doing no good just sitting on my desk like that.

So yes, this is the biggest problem in my life right now. Too much candy. And we all know what Trace Adkins had to say about that: "Too much candy? What's that mean? It's like too much money; there's no such thing."

Me? I like animals who can do math.

Do you ever try to check your mirrors while you're walking so you can see who is behind you?

None of my pants fit me anymore. I am either going to really have to step it up on the food front, or buy a new pair of pants. I have been trying the former for the past few days just because of terrible, depressing things, but tomorrow I will probably attempt the latter. It's not a good idea to go grocery shopping when you are depressed. I always buy a lot of frozen Italian food and then forget to buy ice cream, and then I am more depressed because I forgot the ice cream. And the toilet paper, but that's a separate matter.

My flatmates are so irritating. I hate being sequestered in my room, but I really don't want to have to deal with six drunk 18-year-olds. I just want a glass of milk; I don't need your stares. Continue drinking your Tesco vodka and playing cards.

EDIT (2:48 a.m.): At this point the party they decided not to tell anyone they were having has been going on for at least 6 hours. Right now I just want to throttle each and every one of them. And I want to kick the ass of whoever designed my flat and thought putting a window to the hallway above the door was a good idea. Oh, thanks. Now my room is just as bright as the hallway! Fantastic. I'm so glad I moved to Britain so I could have terrible neighbors again. What am I, a rude people magnet? Oh my God I am fed up with this week.

I don't drink hot liquids of any kind. That's the devil's temperature.

So I said I would post about my trip to Canterbury, and here it is. My friend Charlie studied in Canterbury awhile back, so we basically just went back to his favorite bar, The Two Sawyers, and had a fantastic time getting absolutely shitfaced both nights. Shitfaced like going to a gay club shitfaced, or doing flaming shots of Sambuca shitfaced. It was a really good time; Charlie knows the owners, Paul and Chantelle, and they were really awesome and hospitable and just genuinely great people. It was an excellent weekend for consumables, food and alcohol alike. The first night we were there I had one of the most excellent burgers of my life from The Two Sawyers. And then on Saturday we went with Paul and Chantelle to this place called Cafe De China which is an Asian buffet but not really. You pay the same flat fee, but you get to order from your table and everything comes out freshly prepared. Fantastic. I think there are pictures of the duck l'orange or whatever on Facebook.

Other than that we just walked around a lot, and I did some serious reminiscing about GYC. Charlie's friend Brooks came in on Saturday, and he was cool to hang out with. On Sunday Tina and I went to services at the cathedral, which was nice. The choir sang beautifully. It was a weekend of new experiences to be sure. And then the train ride back on Sunday was horrible; never travel on a Sunday.

Clearly I had a wicked hangover that lasted like, 2 days. I have laid off the booze this week and am looking forward to a weekend of doing absolutely nothing. My life thus far has not prepared me for the constant drinking and partying that everyone else I know seems relatively accustomed to. I got called a nerd a lot over the weekend, but I am OK with that. I mean, I did go into a board game shop to lust over the 3-D deluxe edition of Settlers of Catan. And I'm not ashamed of it.

This week has been pretty low key. Last night when I walked home I was so cold that I stopped in a chip shop and bought chips just to warm my hands. That was also my motivation for buying a cup of tea on my way to class yesterday.

I don't understand the polling feature on this website. When a poll ends, there should be a way to make a new one. But there isn't; not without uninstalling and reinstalling the entire feature. Once I think of a good question, I will do it. Even though all you passengers don't really deserve it. I can't wait to drive a car again. It's going to be weird. Yes. Weird enough to for 'weird' to be italicized.

That's about as useful as a chocolate fire god.

I will try to write a proper post about my trip to Canterbury, but I don't have time right now. The city was just as great as I remembered, although my memories of the days I spent there with GYC are now slightly tainted by much less wholesome memories. But that's OK. I had a lot of fun and sent many of my GYC buddies postcards.

I can't believe that so far I am the only one who prefers the driver's seat to the passenger's seat. I guess maybe I am just a control freak when it comes to driving. Ha. "Maybe."

I really should have stayed home and done work this weekend. I need to get back on track and write this goddamn Shakespeare paper. Blerg. I'm sure you will hear from me during fits of procrastination.

Barlow out.